Refreshed....Just a Little

Since this is November, the month of thankfulness, I want to start this blog out with the thing I am thankful for today.

I am thankful for Miss Vickie, Dr. Jacobs, Renee, and Dr. Mess.  All of these wonderful ladies have been my cancer care team.  I'm not sure where I would be without them, but I know that I am a healthier and better person because of them.

Now on to the original sentiments of today's blog.

So for the first time in I'm not sure how long, I spent part of the day pampering myself.  I honestly started to forget what it felt like to have me time and to feel pretty again.  Of course the pretty started before I even went to the salon.

I actually put on one of my bras today.  You know, my collection of beautiful Victoria's Secrets bras.  I'm pretty sure that I'll need to go up a bit, but I'm okay with it.  Honestly, looking at how it looked on me, I cried.  I cried like a baby.  For the first time in a long time, I cried tears of joy.

Standing there looking in the mirror at my rebuilt boobs in one of my favorite bras was priceless.  There was no way to really describe all of the emotions and how I truly felt in those moments.  I finally looked at myself through the tears and saw my chest like I used to see it.

While these boobs are implants, they look as much like my own, with the exception of the nipples, which I am not having reconstructed.  I knew this process was going to be hard.  I knew I was going to have to change.  I knew that it wasn't going to be easy all of the time, but I pushed through it because I had to.  What is my reward?  Looking and feeling like a woman again in my own skin.  That is a priceless feeling.

So, what did I do at the salon?  I cut quite a bit off of my hair.  While it may look the same to some, it's not, and I sure can tell the difference.  I absolutely love it.  I also darkened it up a lot with a deep red and added some subtle lighter red highlights.  I tried to keep as much of the length as possible, but did have to part ways with some of it as it was in such bad shape.  Not completely because of not taking care of it, but the anesthesia does some pretty bad things to your hair.

I used to tell my customers that when I was in the hair industry, I just never was sure why since it was just something that I had learned.  Now I know first hand.  As much as I wanted to have the long, long sleek hair, my body wasn't going to allow me to, and I am okay with that.  At this point, anything that makes me feel better is a good thing.  So, with that said, I will leave you with 2 pictures.  1 is my new look and the other is in the pics section since it is the boobs.

I wish you all a beautiful and blessed night.

More Than Appreciative...and Then Some

I have this set of ladies that I met back in November 2010.  We were all pregnant and due in July 2011.  So that was the commonality that we all had......that we knew of.  During our time of getting to know each other, that's when we realized that we were the most awesome set of ladies out there.

The majority of the core ones have stayed with us all this time.  We have been through so much together.  We have had new babies born.  We have had arguments.  We have leaned on each other in times that we have needed each other.  For nearly 3 years, these ladies have been an important part of my life and have been there for me through some of the most horrible things that can happen.

So how do these ladies play into any of this?  Well, this is how.

Yesterday I went out to check the mail as usual.  Over the last couple of weeks I have been getting random cards in the mail from these ladies.  I've gotten cards from my pastor and cards from some of the church family.  So anyway, I get to the mailbox and find junk mail there.  Hey!  At least it isn't bills right?

I came back in the house and shut the door behind me only to be stopped by my doorbell.  (Which of course makes Perry our dog go nutso and act like an idiot.)  I turn around and open the door to find a box that was from one of the ladies.  I started crying at that point.  Little did I know that the crying was not over.

I open up the box to find random things to keep me busy while I am in between my medically induced naps.  Of course in the style of Katie, who is my Floridian, and who's name was on the package, I find myself with a package of cards that have the Florida Gator on them.  Now I know that she isn't the only one who likes to rub the Gators in to me.  So I knew a couple of them came up with it.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I love college football, but I bleed Buckeye Scarlet and Gray.  While living in Florida, I did find a little part of my heart that can like the Gators, but only if they aren't playing my Buckeyes.

Anyhow, I'm still crying but laughing a bit at the sentiment of the cards.  Then I find the greeting card.  The front of it presented to me that it was going to be quite interesting.  If ya'll are interested in seeing it, I will take a pic and post it with this blog.  The card made me laugh through the tears.  Then I see what was folded up in the card.  Upon opening it and just reading a couple of lines, I was bawling hysterically.  My mom and son couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  That's when I handed them this paper that was folded up.

These ladies, 55 of them, 2 of whom I have only met face to face, got together behind my back and arranged for me to have a day at the spa.  Something I have never had and something that I have always dreamed of having.  Needless to say, I couldn't stop myself from crying.  To think that these 55 ladies thought enough of me to pull together to do this for me.  Even as I write this it makes me tear up.

For so many years in my life I felt like no one cared about me, and those who acted like they did, really didn't.  I think I know better now.  I have a few that I know are genuine, but the most prominent are these ladies who have some of the most genuine hearts that I would swear are made of gold and are most definitely worth more than their weight in gold.

When I would watch the video to Martina McBride's "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" I would think of some people in my lives, but these ladies seemed to be the ones who stuck out the most to me.  Even more so now.  It's not even the gift that mattered.  Each and every day when I have a pain that hurts me, days that I look in the mirror and hate what I see, days that everything else in my life is going wrong, they have been there.

For all of those times I am so blessed and couldn't have asked for more.  This iced my cake and showed me how much these ladies care for me.  So for each and every one of you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love each and every one of you.  (Even the really kinky ones who keep my days interesting.  You know who you are.)  Thank you, thank you, thank you for loving me through it.