I know I've been pretty quiet. I've used this blog just for my journey, so with there having been nothing going on, I sort of let it go. I did think about posting a few times, but most of the things I would talk about wouldn't even relate to my journey. With that said, there is an update.
I went and had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Mess today. They took another picture so that there is a baseline as to where she needs to put my implants and all that good stuff. Besides talking about my numerous questions, we discussed how I am feeling about this whole thing.
To be honest, I am really looking forward to this surgery. I'm not afraid anymore. Sure I don't like the idea of being cut open again, but I also don't like laying on these rocks. That's the best way that I can describe how these tissue expanders feel. I am a belly sleeper, and I haven't been able to comfortably sleep the way that I want just because of how hard these are. I just want to have squishy boobs again.
We talked about going back in through the scars that are already there, that way I don't have 2 sets of scars. Sounds good to me. If they fade out as well as these ones have, then I don't think that it will be too hard for me to get past the look of them. I'll have to post a picture of how they look before I go in for my surgery that way ya'll can see how good the scarring actually looks.
Since implants really don't look real, I also get to have some fat grafting done. This will be where Dr. Mess will make an incision near my belly button and suck fat out. The fat will then be transplanted to my chest to fill in the dents between my collarbone and the implants. It's not something that can be seen in a picture, but in person you can actually see where I am concave. So essentially, I get to lose a bit of fat too. Can't really beat that, and I sure won't complain. That's for sure.
Showing posts with label tissue expanders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tissue expanders. Show all posts
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Pump Me Up Version 2
I ended up having some fluid build up that was concerning me. So instead of waiting for Dr. Mess to get me in on Monday, she got me into the office on Saturday morning. That's one hell of a Dr. if you ask me.
The swelling on the right was not nearly as bad as it appeared the night before and she wasn't able to get any more than 20cc of fluid out of it, but still could feel some in there. She told me just to put the surgical bra back on and hope that it would reabsorb. If not, we will try and remove some more on Thursday. She just didn't want to risk hitting my expander and having to start over because of puncturing it trying to get the fluid.
For some reason the swelling on the left was worse, but sure didn't feel like it. She ended up pulling 60cc of fluid off of that side. Dr. Mess figured that we probably wouldn't have to worry about fluid after the appointment this week.
While I saw her on Saturday, she did end up giving me my injections. So I got 120cc more in each side, which means I am now up to a B cup. I'm not flat chested anymore. And.....if I feel like putting on one of my bras, I actually look like my boobs look nice, just not as big as normal. I'm okay with that for now.
For those of you who want to see the new pics, you can find them on the page with all of the other pictures.
This morning was awful though. I woke up with the most horrendous muscle spasms in my chest. I couldn't even lift up to try and get my meds. I started crying which was hard to do with the pain, and then started begging for my meds. Andy was able to lift me up, get my meds and lay me back down.
I found that laying down with the spasms only made them worse. So I decided to get up and go hang out with mom outside. I was feeling much better, and the spasms let up on me.....that was until I stood up to do anything. :-(
Enough time had passed that I was finally able to take more meds and get a good nap in. Most of the pain has subsided, but I still am tender. I just hope that this pain subsides completely by Thursday that way I can get my other 120cc to get me up to a C.
I just want to get to the point where I can go get these terrible expanders out and put my nice new implants in. That will just mean that this journey will be closer to an end and I can move on to other journeys in my life.
The swelling on the right was not nearly as bad as it appeared the night before and she wasn't able to get any more than 20cc of fluid out of it, but still could feel some in there. She told me just to put the surgical bra back on and hope that it would reabsorb. If not, we will try and remove some more on Thursday. She just didn't want to risk hitting my expander and having to start over because of puncturing it trying to get the fluid.
For some reason the swelling on the left was worse, but sure didn't feel like it. She ended up pulling 60cc of fluid off of that side. Dr. Mess figured that we probably wouldn't have to worry about fluid after the appointment this week.
While I saw her on Saturday, she did end up giving me my injections. So I got 120cc more in each side, which means I am now up to a B cup. I'm not flat chested anymore. And.....if I feel like putting on one of my bras, I actually look like my boobs look nice, just not as big as normal. I'm okay with that for now.
For those of you who want to see the new pics, you can find them on the page with all of the other pictures.
This morning was awful though. I woke up with the most horrendous muscle spasms in my chest. I couldn't even lift up to try and get my meds. I started crying which was hard to do with the pain, and then started begging for my meds. Andy was able to lift me up, get my meds and lay me back down.
I found that laying down with the spasms only made them worse. So I decided to get up and go hang out with mom outside. I was feeling much better, and the spasms let up on me.....that was until I stood up to do anything. :-(
Enough time had passed that I was finally able to take more meds and get a good nap in. Most of the pain has subsided, but I still am tender. I just hope that this pain subsides completely by Thursday that way I can get my other 120cc to get me up to a C.
I just want to get to the point where I can go get these terrible expanders out and put my nice new implants in. That will just mean that this journey will be closer to an end and I can move on to other journeys in my life.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I'm Going to Pump You Up....
So yesterday I went and saw Dr. Mess. I wasn't sure what the appointment was other than to just check me over. Well, I was getting my first injections. Yes, I sure was excited. I was doing the whole sitting down happy dance and hooping and hollaring. That was until she stuck me with the needle to put the saline in the expanders.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! This sucks. That's exactly what I was saying. Dr. Mess had to remind me to breathe cause all I could think was to hold my breath and maybe that would hold off the pain. Yeah, no bueno. That didn't work for me.
She did notice that I had some fluid under the armpit, or the side boob as some would call it. She ended up poking around and pulling 50cc out of the right side after she had done my saline injection.
Switch to the left side and that didn't hurt as bad. Felt pretty normal. Was doing fine and wasn't cussing about how bad the pain sucked. So the left side wasn't too bad. Then of course we notice fluid on the left side like there was on the right side. Dr. Mess poked around and ended up getting 70cc out of that side.
At first I started thinking that it was a large amount for her to have to drain out of me, but considering the drains had been removed on Thursday, those amounts of fluid weren't too bad. I can live with that. Hopefully when I go back on Monday we won't have to drain anymore fluid, but you never know.
So the injections didn't take too long. I got 120cc put in to each side. This essentially took me to being an A cup. I am proud of that A cup right now. At least I'm not completely flat chested. The scarring still looks pretty bad to me and I am struggling with it, but hey, I'll eventually find acceptance to all of this, right?
After we left from my appointment I finally realized why I was given Compazine. A ginormous wave of nausea hit me and I wanted to toss my cookies. So instead of throwing up, I had Andy turn the air up to cool me off in hopes of me not getting sick. We get down the road a few miles and my personality came out. I told him that he needed to turn the AC down cause my nipples were going to fall off they were so cold. The humor in that is that I don't have nipples anymore. I thought it was funny. I think Andy thought I was out of my mind. Maybe at that point I was, but ya know what? I walked out of Dr. Mess' office with an A cup, and that was a win win situation.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! This sucks. That's exactly what I was saying. Dr. Mess had to remind me to breathe cause all I could think was to hold my breath and maybe that would hold off the pain. Yeah, no bueno. That didn't work for me.
She did notice that I had some fluid under the armpit, or the side boob as some would call it. She ended up poking around and pulling 50cc out of the right side after she had done my saline injection.
Switch to the left side and that didn't hurt as bad. Felt pretty normal. Was doing fine and wasn't cussing about how bad the pain sucked. So the left side wasn't too bad. Then of course we notice fluid on the left side like there was on the right side. Dr. Mess poked around and ended up getting 70cc out of that side.
At first I started thinking that it was a large amount for her to have to drain out of me, but considering the drains had been removed on Thursday, those amounts of fluid weren't too bad. I can live with that. Hopefully when I go back on Monday we won't have to drain anymore fluid, but you never know.
So the injections didn't take too long. I got 120cc put in to each side. This essentially took me to being an A cup. I am proud of that A cup right now. At least I'm not completely flat chested. The scarring still looks pretty bad to me and I am struggling with it, but hey, I'll eventually find acceptance to all of this, right?
After we left from my appointment I finally realized why I was given Compazine. A ginormous wave of nausea hit me and I wanted to toss my cookies. So instead of throwing up, I had Andy turn the air up to cool me off in hopes of me not getting sick. We get down the road a few miles and my personality came out. I told him that he needed to turn the AC down cause my nipples were going to fall off they were so cold. The humor in that is that I don't have nipples anymore. I thought it was funny. I think Andy thought I was out of my mind. Maybe at that point I was, but ya know what? I walked out of Dr. Mess' office with an A cup, and that was a win win situation.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
6 Days Post Mastectomy
So I went in at 7:00am on Friday July 29th for the mastectomy. I was terrified to say the least. There was a lot of anxiety, a lot of anger, a lot of tears and everything else in between. I didn't balk on it, so my journey is continuing.
I was finally taken back to surgery after have a radioactive dye shot into my right nipple and massaged in to take pictures of where lymph nodes were. This was rather interesting and educational so I knew what nodes Dr. Jacobs would be taking out. After that I was wheeled back to my pre-op room to wait on Dr. Mess to arrive and have me sign all of the day of surgery consent forms.
My anesthesiologist came out to get me and gave me a kick ass cocktail that had me pretty out of it before they could truly knock me out in the OR. I only slightly remember pieces of words that everyone was saying before I was completely under.
I came out of surgery screaming bloody murder and begging for them to drug me as much as possible because the pain was too much to handle. Whatever they happened to give me worked pretty well as I slept and didn't feel much of anything.
My day was filled with nurses coming in and out to check my vitals, dose me with more Morphine, ask me how I was feeling and to empty my drain tubes. Sleep wasn't too good that night, and it was okay for the most part.
The next day Dr. Mess came in and said that with as good as I looked and how chipper I appeared, I could go home after lunch. GOOD DEAL!! Dr. Jacobs came in a bit later and said about the same as Dr. Mess. Not long after that I found myself headed home.
I set up camp for a couple of days on the couch so that I could sleep and not hurt any part of myself. That worked, but I wasn't able to sleep next to Andy which made me a bit restless. Finally on Tuesday night I was able to be propped up and sleep in my own bed while holding my husband's hand. Sleep was peaceful.
Today I went to see Dr. Mess. I had the bandages removed and cried. I guess seeing them bandaged up versus without the bandages is two entirely different things. It was highly emotional. I also had the pleasure of having the drain tubes removed. It was not nearly as horrific as I have read all over the internet.
Now all I have to do is go back on Monday for Dr. Mess to check me again, and if all is well, I may, just may get my first saline injection. Then on Tuesday I get to see Miss Vickie and Dr. Jacobs so they can see how I am and hopefully give me the results of the pathology report of the lymph nodes that were taken out.
For now though, I am going to take my meds and try to get some sleep. Thank you all for the continued prayers, thoughts and blessings. They mean more to me than most of you know. Much love to all of you while you are loving me through this.
I was finally taken back to surgery after have a radioactive dye shot into my right nipple and massaged in to take pictures of where lymph nodes were. This was rather interesting and educational so I knew what nodes Dr. Jacobs would be taking out. After that I was wheeled back to my pre-op room to wait on Dr. Mess to arrive and have me sign all of the day of surgery consent forms.
My anesthesiologist came out to get me and gave me a kick ass cocktail that had me pretty out of it before they could truly knock me out in the OR. I only slightly remember pieces of words that everyone was saying before I was completely under.
I came out of surgery screaming bloody murder and begging for them to drug me as much as possible because the pain was too much to handle. Whatever they happened to give me worked pretty well as I slept and didn't feel much of anything.
My day was filled with nurses coming in and out to check my vitals, dose me with more Morphine, ask me how I was feeling and to empty my drain tubes. Sleep wasn't too good that night, and it was okay for the most part.
The next day Dr. Mess came in and said that with as good as I looked and how chipper I appeared, I could go home after lunch. GOOD DEAL!! Dr. Jacobs came in a bit later and said about the same as Dr. Mess. Not long after that I found myself headed home.
I set up camp for a couple of days on the couch so that I could sleep and not hurt any part of myself. That worked, but I wasn't able to sleep next to Andy which made me a bit restless. Finally on Tuesday night I was able to be propped up and sleep in my own bed while holding my husband's hand. Sleep was peaceful.
Today I went to see Dr. Mess. I had the bandages removed and cried. I guess seeing them bandaged up versus without the bandages is two entirely different things. It was highly emotional. I also had the pleasure of having the drain tubes removed. It was not nearly as horrific as I have read all over the internet.
Now all I have to do is go back on Monday for Dr. Mess to check me again, and if all is well, I may, just may get my first saline injection. Then on Tuesday I get to see Miss Vickie and Dr. Jacobs so they can see how I am and hopefully give me the results of the pathology report of the lymph nodes that were taken out.
For now though, I am going to take my meds and try to get some sleep. Thank you all for the continued prayers, thoughts and blessings. They mean more to me than most of you know. Much love to all of you while you are loving me through this.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
15 Days to Surgery....
I haven't really updated this as there hasn't really been anything going on. Of course that was until this week started. So here's the skinny on what has been going on.
I quit smoking. I am 9 1/2 days smoke free so far. It's not been nearly as bad as I thought that it would be. Or maybe it was just that I was finally ready for that change to happen. After being smoke free for 48 hours, I started walking. My first walk was 4 miles. Yeah, a little ambitious, but it was nice to be able to walk that much and not huff and puff. Each day I was continuing to walk 2 miles, but then on Sunday the shin splints and pain in my ankles got to be too much for me, so I was only able to walk a mile and then I've been resting for a couple of days.
Yesterday I had my pre-op appointment with my primary physician. Not much to report there other than I had an EKG done and was given the paperwork for my bloodwork. So off I went to the vampires to let them draw my blood. I have a pretty nasty bruise, which is probably a first in a lot of years.
Today I had my pre-op appointments with Miss Vickie and with Dr. Mess.
Miss Vickie went over all of the instructions with me on what to do before the surgery and what to expect after and how everything will go while I am in surgery. I was told that I am to be there at 7:00 am and that I had to start out with about 5 needles that shoot me full of radioactive dye to check the lymph nodes in the armpit area. Apparently, Dr. Jacobs will be removing 3 of them and then it has to be sent off to pathology. Would it surprise you if I said that I am terrified of that? The last time something came back from pathology it said it was cancer. I sure don't want to hear that things have gotten worse or spread or whatever, but it is something that is necessary. What I worry about is that there is going to be something on that pathology report that will warrant chemo, which will make me lose my hair. Yes, I am that vain I guess. Let's just cross our fingers that bad doesn't come from those results.
Now after Dr. Jacobs gets one breast done, Dr. Mess will come in and work on that breast while Dr. Jacobs works on the other. The tend to do it this way since they don't want to keep me asleep for too long. Dr. Mess will be the one that finishes everything up and then goes out to talk to Andy and let him know how I am doing.
From the information I gathered from Dr. Mess today, I will pretty much be flat chested when I come out and my boob area will be highly deformed. This is what happens when you have a mastectomy and reconstruction. I guess I thought that I would have the tissue expanders inflated enough during surgery that I wouldn't be flat chested. Apparently that is not the case here. I am seriously not looking forward to that part.
After I have had my post-op appointment with Dr. Mess, I will have one with Dr. Jacobs, then another with Dr. Mess. When those appointments are all said and done, I will be looking at having the saline injected into the tissue expanders each week until I am at my desired size. Once I am to that size, I will go back in for a surgery to have my actual implants put in. Then the journey will continue after that.
I quit smoking. I am 9 1/2 days smoke free so far. It's not been nearly as bad as I thought that it would be. Or maybe it was just that I was finally ready for that change to happen. After being smoke free for 48 hours, I started walking. My first walk was 4 miles. Yeah, a little ambitious, but it was nice to be able to walk that much and not huff and puff. Each day I was continuing to walk 2 miles, but then on Sunday the shin splints and pain in my ankles got to be too much for me, so I was only able to walk a mile and then I've been resting for a couple of days.
Yesterday I had my pre-op appointment with my primary physician. Not much to report there other than I had an EKG done and was given the paperwork for my bloodwork. So off I went to the vampires to let them draw my blood. I have a pretty nasty bruise, which is probably a first in a lot of years.
Today I had my pre-op appointments with Miss Vickie and with Dr. Mess.
Miss Vickie went over all of the instructions with me on what to do before the surgery and what to expect after and how everything will go while I am in surgery. I was told that I am to be there at 7:00 am and that I had to start out with about 5 needles that shoot me full of radioactive dye to check the lymph nodes in the armpit area. Apparently, Dr. Jacobs will be removing 3 of them and then it has to be sent off to pathology. Would it surprise you if I said that I am terrified of that? The last time something came back from pathology it said it was cancer. I sure don't want to hear that things have gotten worse or spread or whatever, but it is something that is necessary. What I worry about is that there is going to be something on that pathology report that will warrant chemo, which will make me lose my hair. Yes, I am that vain I guess. Let's just cross our fingers that bad doesn't come from those results.
Now after Dr. Jacobs gets one breast done, Dr. Mess will come in and work on that breast while Dr. Jacobs works on the other. The tend to do it this way since they don't want to keep me asleep for too long. Dr. Mess will be the one that finishes everything up and then goes out to talk to Andy and let him know how I am doing.
From the information I gathered from Dr. Mess today, I will pretty much be flat chested when I come out and my boob area will be highly deformed. This is what happens when you have a mastectomy and reconstruction. I guess I thought that I would have the tissue expanders inflated enough during surgery that I wouldn't be flat chested. Apparently that is not the case here. I am seriously not looking forward to that part.
After I have had my post-op appointment with Dr. Mess, I will have one with Dr. Jacobs, then another with Dr. Mess. When those appointments are all said and done, I will be looking at having the saline injected into the tissue expanders each week until I am at my desired size. Once I am to that size, I will go back in for a surgery to have my actual implants put in. Then the journey will continue after that.
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