Such a Good Day

So I went and saw Dr. Mess today.  She said that everything is looking wonderful.  I have great cleavage and the shape is perfect.  She even said that she could tell that there was a difference in where the lipo was done and that once the swelling is down I will be very pleased.  I also am allowed to wear my own pretty bras during the day, but I still have to wear the sports bras at night.  I'm okay with that though.

Right now I am pleased anyhow.  I do know that there is still quite a bit of swelling, but I can tell where I have been sculpted.  While that part has been painful, it was a part that made sure that I looked normal.  I would take the pain of that any day as long as I never have to hear that I have cancer again.

I also stopped over to see Miss Vickie today.  I always enjoy my visits with her.  She's such a character so full of life.  A true blessing full of strength to help get you through it all.  She talked to me about thinking that I would be great to be a support person for those who are also dealing with cancer.  I have had my really bad moments, but I have made it through.  My journey is nearly over, and I am more than happy with that.

There is also an event on Thursday where I get to go to the Breast Center and sign the quilt of the patients there.  I am a survivor, and it feels so good.  I'm going to make sure that I take the time out of my day to go to this event.  I think I'm even going to take the kids so they can see that this is something that is important to me.

Oh, and just for another note, I went and got myself inked on Saturday.  I did my pink ribbon with survivor on it.  While Andy hates it, I love it.  It is a representation of what I have been through.  It has meaning to it.  So for your viewing pleasure, here it is.

Some Random Ramblings

The sermon at church today was just beautiful.  I wish that Andy had gone with me so that he could have heard it.  Maybe it would have made him understand what I am asking of him as my husband.

The sermon was about when Jesus was asking Peter, "Do you love me?"  I think I spent most of the sermon focused on how it was broken down during children's moment.  Sorry Pastor Dave.  Anyhow, it was about how we know that someone loves us.  The children came up with answers such as: hugs, feeding you, talking to you, listening to you and smiling at you.  I know that those things sure can make a bad day seem a little bit better.

Now don't take this the wrong way.  I have no doubts that my husband loves me, it's just that he is not very good at showing it at all.  I guess I've focused too much on the times that he's not been there either physically or emotionally.  I guess that I just need to be reassured in my own way that he is in this with me and backing me up.

I know that I am not facing a terminal cancer, or anything close to it, but it is cancer.  It is scary.  I just want to know that when it comes to him that I am not alone.  Sometimes I wonder if asking that of him is just too much.  I don't really know.

I think one of the other things that scares me is the effects of the impending surgery.  I have had some serious image issues my whole life.  Guess that can't be avoided when people are so cruel to you growing up.  I'm still trying to work beyond all of the hurtful things that have been said to me for so long.  Then I think of this surgery and what it will take from me.  Sure, they can remove my breast and reconstruct it.  Some people may think, "At least you will have it replaced."  It won't be the same though, and I know that.  That seems to me that it will just feed into the things that I have been trying for so long to get past.  Hopefully, it won't knock me down too much.

Well, hopefully I'll have some kind of a real update for ya'll tomorrow.  With that being said, I'm gonna finish watching Fluffy (Gabriel Iglesias), tonight's episode of Army Wives and then hit the hay.  Hope ya'll have a great night.