My tattoos are finally complete. So that means my journey with cancer is complete. While it is no longer an active part of my life, it is still part of who I am. I am a 14 1/2 month survivor.
I still have days where I struggle with the emotional side of things. I at least don't have to worry about looking at those nasty scars again. Of course those scars could have been worse than what they were, but I don't have to look at them anymore.
I waited until all of my tattooing was done to post pics on here because I wanted people to see the entirety of the beauty of the tattoos together. The symbolism with my tattoos is that the fairy blew the cancer away.
I don't know if I'll keep up with this blog since my cancer and reconstruction journey is over, but I am for sure leaving it up for anyone who happens to need it. With that said, check out the picture area to see my final results.
Just remember, each of you are stronger than anything that tries to take you down. Live each day to the fullest. Don't let the small things in life ruin the bigger picture. Always know that there are people out there who care. Never give up on yourself. Love yourself, battle scars and all. Finally, there is always, always, always HOPE!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Today Is the Day
Today is the day. I am finally getting my tattoos to cover up my scars. I woke up so excited and still am. The one part of this journey that has kept me sad is going to go away. Okay, maybe they won't go away, but they are going to be covered up so I won't have to see them.
I know for some people, they can wear their scars proudly to show that they beat cancer. I on the other hand have had a terrible time dealing with them. I know that it is a symbol of rising above a nasty disease, but emotionally, it hasn't been easy. I've used the Rejuvasil religiously, but it hasn't faded these scars enough. I still find myself looking in the mirror in disgust. I don't want to do that anymore.
When I look at my chest, I want to smile. I want to be comfortable looking at myself again. These tattoos are going to be the symbol of strength for me. So while I am emotional about having them done, I know that this is the final step of this journey.
I don't know if my tattoo artist will really be able to understand the effects that her work is going to have on me. I'm sure through talking with her about everything, she'll know how appreciative I am for what she is doing for me. She has the ability to take away something painful.
I'm hoping one of the other artists or even the manager can take random pictures for me so that I can share them with ya'll. More than anything, I would love for there to be a picture of the reveal to me. Just so I can see for myself, the reaction that I'm going to have.
If you wanna check out my tattoo artist Jackie, this is where you can find her. http://www.blacklotustattoos.com/jackie-singer-sabur.html She also works in the shop owned by the famous Halo Jankowski that you can find on this season of Inkmaster on Spike tv.
For now, I'm going to mentally prepare myself for this step and will post when the beauties are done. May each and every one of you have a beautiful and blessed day.
I know for some people, they can wear their scars proudly to show that they beat cancer. I on the other hand have had a terrible time dealing with them. I know that it is a symbol of rising above a nasty disease, but emotionally, it hasn't been easy. I've used the Rejuvasil religiously, but it hasn't faded these scars enough. I still find myself looking in the mirror in disgust. I don't want to do that anymore.
When I look at my chest, I want to smile. I want to be comfortable looking at myself again. These tattoos are going to be the symbol of strength for me. So while I am emotional about having them done, I know that this is the final step of this journey.
I don't know if my tattoo artist will really be able to understand the effects that her work is going to have on me. I'm sure through talking with her about everything, she'll know how appreciative I am for what she is doing for me. She has the ability to take away something painful.
I'm hoping one of the other artists or even the manager can take random pictures for me so that I can share them with ya'll. More than anything, I would love for there to be a picture of the reveal to me. Just so I can see for myself, the reaction that I'm going to have.
If you wanna check out my tattoo artist Jackie, this is where you can find her. http://www.blacklotustattoos.com/jackie-singer-sabur.html She also works in the shop owned by the famous Halo Jankowski that you can find on this season of Inkmaster on Spike tv.
For now, I'm going to mentally prepare myself for this step and will post when the beauties are done. May each and every one of you have a beautiful and blessed day.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
It's Been Awhile
So it's been awhile since I've posted. Not much has really gone on. I've been in the healing stages and waiting for the scars to disappear more. Of course they haven't, so I have scheduled my appointment to have my cover up tattoos done. I ended up deciding on pieces that I believe are absolutely amazing and will convey the message of this journey.
The tattoo shop I go to is Black Lotus Tattoo Gallery that sits just outside the base here. The owner of the shop is a contestant on InkMaster this season. I'm very excited to be able to see Halo and how he does on the show. I did get to see him when I went in for my consultation with my tattoo chick Jackie. I am so totally psyched to be able to get this done. This will truly be the end of this journey for me.
What I find is totally amazing is that all of this will be done before my 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis. It's crazy how medical technology can take care of things so quickly.
I'll have 1 more trip to see Dr. Mess. That'll be after the tattoos heal so that she can take pics to put in with all of my other pics that are examples of her work. The transformation through pics I'm sure is amazing. After having taken my own pics and seen how things played out, I am very pleased. No way would I want anyone else to have to go through what I did, but sometimes it is a reality of life.
One of the things that I have learned is that when the doctor tells you no heavy lifting, she does mean it. We ended up getting about 16 inches of snow in a 24 hour time frame. Everything was buried and we did have to dig out. While Mike did a majority of the work, I found myself out there helping him. It took me a couple of days to recuperate from the pains I was having in my chest. So now I know what not to do and not to stress my chest out.
So anyhow, back to the whole tattoo thing. I am scheduled for a 4 hour time slot on March 6th. Since my chest is still numb, I'm sure that this will be fairly easy to get through. I think the only thing that may be weird is the feeling the pressure of when she is inking me. I do feel pressure, but as for anything else, nothing. I do hope that someday I'll get feeling back at least in the skin. Who knows though.
Well, I think that is all that I have for now. Be looking out for the pictures right after the tattoos are done and then the final product after they are healed. Until then, may you all have blessed days, and remember to check your rack. You never know what may be lurking in there.
The tattoo shop I go to is Black Lotus Tattoo Gallery that sits just outside the base here. The owner of the shop is a contestant on InkMaster this season. I'm very excited to be able to see Halo and how he does on the show. I did get to see him when I went in for my consultation with my tattoo chick Jackie. I am so totally psyched to be able to get this done. This will truly be the end of this journey for me.
What I find is totally amazing is that all of this will be done before my 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis. It's crazy how medical technology can take care of things so quickly.
I'll have 1 more trip to see Dr. Mess. That'll be after the tattoos heal so that she can take pics to put in with all of my other pics that are examples of her work. The transformation through pics I'm sure is amazing. After having taken my own pics and seen how things played out, I am very pleased. No way would I want anyone else to have to go through what I did, but sometimes it is a reality of life.
One of the things that I have learned is that when the doctor tells you no heavy lifting, she does mean it. We ended up getting about 16 inches of snow in a 24 hour time frame. Everything was buried and we did have to dig out. While Mike did a majority of the work, I found myself out there helping him. It took me a couple of days to recuperate from the pains I was having in my chest. So now I know what not to do and not to stress my chest out.
So anyhow, back to the whole tattoo thing. I am scheduled for a 4 hour time slot on March 6th. Since my chest is still numb, I'm sure that this will be fairly easy to get through. I think the only thing that may be weird is the feeling the pressure of when she is inking me. I do feel pressure, but as for anything else, nothing. I do hope that someday I'll get feeling back at least in the skin. Who knows though.
Well, I think that is all that I have for now. Be looking out for the pictures right after the tattoos are done and then the final product after they are healed. Until then, may you all have blessed days, and remember to check your rack. You never know what may be lurking in there.
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