The Journey has Begun

When I woke up yesterday morning, I was not prepared for the words that would rock me to my core.  

"You have cancer....."  Pretty much everything said to me after that was a blur.  So, lets go back to where my journey really started.

Three years ago I noticed I had some discharge from my right breast.  I wasn't overly concerned about it, but decided to schedule an appointment with my doctor.  After telling the doctor of the issues I was having, she told me that it was a typical side effect of the medicine I was on, but I should have a mammogram to be on the safe side.  I asked her what other reason she had for referring me for a mammogram, and she blatantly told me it was because I had a history of obesity.  Hold on.....WHAT?!?!  How dare you blame this issue on my weight.  Yes, according to the (*insert sarcasm*) beautiful BMI charts, I shouldn't weigh more than 125.  Well, I'm sorry, I am a mother of 4 children, and my body is not going to find it's way back to that weight.  Well, guess what Miss Smart Doctor...I am not going to have this done, and I didn't.

Shortly after ignoring the doctor, my husband and I got pregnant with our youngest son.  I was still having the discharge, but chalked it up to being because of the pregnancy.  After the birth of my son, it continued, but I was breastfeeding, so I ignored it again.  Eventually I stopped breastfeeding, so I expected the discharge to stop.  Well, it never did.

One morning last September, while living in Pensacola, I woke up to excruciating pain in my right breast.  Not only was the pain horrific, it was swollen, and the discharge had turned to blood.  I called a friend of mine to take me over to the Naval Hospital since my husband was in class.  Him and his wife sat with me in the ER all day long.  What was the diagnosis?  They said that it was Mastitis.  They gave me some pain meds, antibiotics and the advice that I should follow up with a doctor because they couldn't give me the necessary referrals due to the insurance I have.  Who knew TriCare Standard can't get a referral from a MTF?  Not this girl.

I went home from the ER thinking that everything would be fine once I started my meds.  Well, everything was fine.  The discharge started tapering off and was no longer bloody.  Okay, maybe I've had this Mastitis stuff since I had the baby, and it just wasn't being treated.

Fast forward to February this year.  I was taking a shower when I noticed something familiar.  Yes, the bloody discharge was back.  I had a friend go with me to the ER.  After sitting in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, I was able to be seen.  The ER doctor told me that they didn't have the diagnostic tools to do what I needed done, but he gave me a referral to a breast surgeon.

I called the breast surgeon's office to schedule my appointment.  Needless to say, this is where the whirlwind started.

The first week of March, I started out with a mammogram and an ultrasound.  Nothing showed up on those.  Okay, I can deal with that.  I still have to meet with Dr. Jacobs and hear what she has to say about the mammogram and ultrasound, but everything should be fine.  Afterall, those tests said that there was no cancer.

The second week of March, I meet with Dr. Jacobs and her nurse Miss Vickie.  I sure felt like I hit the jackpot with these 2.  While I was uncomfortable dealing with all of this stuff, they were great, and made sure to let me know that I could come to them with anything.  This appointment is where the worry started.  Dr. Jacobs examined me and came to the conclusion that I should have the ducts behind my nipple removed and a biopsy done just to rule out cancer.  If anything, the discharge would stop, thus making the nuisance go away.

March 26th, I went in for my surgery.  Everything seemed to have went fine.  Sure I was in a little bit of pain, but I was more hungry than anything.  So after I woke up from the surgery and was feeling okay, I headed off to eat.  Oh!  How wonderful food tasted.  I got home and just tried to relax as I was still feeling a bit out of it, but not too bad.  That was until the next day.

The next morning I woke up feeling like death.  Between the narcotic pain meds and the anesthetic trying to get out of my system, I was fit to be tied.  I pretty much stayed in bed all that day except for having to go to the bathroom to throw up.  Each day after that I was feeling better and better.

So last week, Miss Vickie called to check on me.  I told her I was doing alright and I would see her at my appointment on the 9th.  Nothing was said to me at that point, so I figured that all was well.  That was until I walked into Dr. Jacobs' office yesterday morning.

After examining my incision and having a bomb dropped on me, I met Dr. Jacobs in her office.  This is where she told me all about the cancer diagnosis, my prognosis and treatment options.  She explained where I needed to start.  "It all begins with the MRI that is scheduled for tomorrow.  With the lack of information from the mammogram and ultrasound, and the family history of breast cancer, we need this done.  We need to see if there is anything else."  All I could do was nod my head and wipe the tears that were rolling down my face.  Dr. Jacobs told me I could sit in her office as long as I needed, but that Miss Vickie would be in to talk to me too.  Dr. Jacobs walked out and no sooner she was out the door that Miss Vickie came in.  All I could feel were arms around me and the words, "You've got this.  You are going to beat this.  I will be with you every step of the way."  I never realized how comforting a nurse could be until that very moment.

Miss Vickie continued to talk to me until I calmed down enough to get myself home.  She assured me again that everything would be okay, and she would be calling me soon to schedule another appointment and surgery as soon as the results of the MRI are back.

So as I look at the clock, I realize I have to be at the imaging place in less than 8 hours.  So for now, I'm going to finish this blog up and hit the hay.